Have you heard about extramarital dating sites and you have doubts about your partner? Maybe you have noticed certain changes in him or her, and you think that your husband or wife may have also been conquered by Internet sites for married people.
Meanwhile, the concern is always legitimate, and here it is worth discovering some numbers: 67% of people in Italy cheat on their spouse, and more than 50% of betrayals take place online.
Signs of possible betrayal
Starting from these percentages, although it is not our intention to be alarmist, you too may have ended up in the circle of cheating. That's why in this guide we are going to explain how to discover a betrayal.
- Inexplicable changes in his behavior
In most cases, the worm of the betrayal creeps into the head of the Italians for this reason: maybe you notice a change in the behavior of the partner, and that change is not justifiable with any concrete reason.
We talk, for example, of a greater attention to one's look, make-up, hair or beard: in short, all those aesthetic changes that aim to make a person more attractive. Even if you rightly do not explain why.
Even changes in behavior can indicate a possible betrayal: just think of the decrease in attention to you, but also the use of technology that is more massive than usual (we speak of computers and smartphones). Finally, other signs are being constantly defensive, and sudden changes in mood (even in terms of happiness, therefore positive).
- New friends, new schedules, new commitments
In life everything changes, and we certainly don't have to explain this to you, but when things change suddenly, you always have some questions... So we want to go back to the previous speech, because sometimes new things happen that could hide something else, and therefore be lies.
The first symptom of an affair is the fact that you see him or her less than usual: maybe he tells you that he has found new friends, or that he is going out again with his old friends. Maybe he claims to have joined the gym, or to have to support travel and work commitments that he did not have before. And it stands to reason that you might think: that time is spent cheating on me.
- Obsessive use of smartphones and social networks
Absolutely one of the clearest and most obvious signs that your partner is planning to cheat on you, or is already doing so. In this case we talk about the compulsive use of smartphones and computers, especially for messaging on WhatsApp or to be on social networks.
He may be doing it because that way he keeps in touch with his lover and arranges with him to see each other. Or, as mentioned above, he might do it because he has decided to put himself in search of an extramarital encounter. And even if it has not yet happened - and it is not said that it will happen in practice - we are still talking about mental betrayal.
- Less desire than usual to have sex
In 99% of cases, a betrayal arises because between the two partners the "sheets" begin to become boring and the sex stale and repetitive. As a result, experiencing this with difficulty is a typical feature of almost all marriages, even if there is not yet a betrayal behind it.
However, when the situation suddenly worsens, there may be something that doesn't add up. Okay, sex was bad before, but why do you now refuse to do it or try it regardless, using almost ridiculous excuses? From headaches to fatigue, it could be a sign that he's having sex with someone else or someone else.
- Short-term memory loss
This could be something that some people think is almost comical, but it's not at all. In fact, often those who start forgetting things do so on purpose, because they don't know how to justify the time spent away from home.
It is also an advantage for those who cheat, and it is paradoxical: most cheating is discovered because those who cheat contradict themselves when questioned, confusing themselves and making it clear that something is wrong.
Instead, those who play dumb and simply tell you that they do not remember where they were on that day at that time, risk less from certain points of view. But they risk a lot when they blow your nose, and if this is your case, you'd better investigate.
How to discover a betrayal
So far we have listed the major signs that could conceal an extramarital affair. If you've noticed any of these symptoms, or worse yet, all of them, then it's time to get into the shoes of a private investigator.
Maybe it's because you're already pretty sure he's cheating on you, and you want to give him a taste of his own medicine, taking revenge for the betrayal received. That's why we're going to tell you what you can do to expose your partner's adultery.
- Become technological
We've already explained that more than half of all cheating takes place online, but technological tools are used regardless to cheat on your partner, even without signing up for a dating site.
And that's why you'll have to become a wizard of technology, to find the crumbs left by a betrayal consumed in a hurry and with little attention.
First of all you have to go to your computer and find out if there are any traces left in the browser history: for example, the visits to the already mentioned dating sites, just to give a very reliable example. Secondly, if he is still connected to Facebook, you can log into his account and have a look at his private chats: you might find what you are looking for.
Technology, today, also and above all means smartphones, but it gets tricky here. Somehow you should be able to get access to his phone, know what the passwords are and start snooping on WhatsApp conversations. There are even apps that allow you to spy on your phone, but they are illegal if used for this purpose, so if you use them you do so at your own risk.
- Test your partner
In most cases, betrayals are like castles made of paper: it only takes a breath to sweep away that false veil of truth that keeps them hidden. This is also true in the case of serial cheaters, who are still very smart and know how to make your life difficult.
Yet often it is enough to simply test your partner: catch him when he least expects it, start bombarding him with questions and see how he responds (assuming he responds).
You can find a thousand contradictions in terms of outings and commitments, and you can also put him in a difficult position by telling him that now you will make him call his phantom friends, to see if their version matches his own. Often it is during the interrogation that the horns come to light, because you will actually make him contradict himself, putting him in a corner.
- Try to spy on him when he is alone at home
Know that almost no cheater puts the horns at home of the couple, because it would mean risking the impossible.
However, your home can become the perfect place to start planning an adulterous encounter, especially when you are not at home, or at least you are in another room. Under these circumstances, spying on him is the best thing to do, and you can do it using technology again: you can, for example, leave your smartphone with the sound recorder on and leave the apartment.
Or you can use the baby monitor (if you have children) to listen to what he says. Either way, between micro-cams, webcams and more, you're certainly not lacking in hi-tech tools to capture his every word around the house.
- Monitor his movements in the car
You want to be on the safe side, and remove a large part of the doubts that torment you? Then we suggest you to place a GPS device in his car, so you can understand exactly where he goes and when he goes there. Of course, you can never be sure that he is cheating on you just because he is going somewhere.
However, if he told you he was going to place A and you pinch him in place B, then that means he lied to you and is hiding something anyway. Even better if he tells you he was at work, but instead the GPS navigator pinched him at a motel.
- The cell phone again
The smartphone of a cheater hides a thousand secrets, but who says that the repository of that information is the phone that your partner uses every day? Usually the hottest stuff isn't found on the main phone, but on the secondary or secret one.
And here's where the trick is: since we're talking about a smartphone that theoretically shouldn't even exist, it's bound to be at home hidden somewhere. You hunt for it, and see if you can find anything, and then ask him to unlock it and let you read what's on it.
What to do after you've discovered it?
You've managed to find out that your spouse is cheating on you, and now what do you do about it? You have three options in front of you: you can try to understand how to overcome the betrayal, you can give him/her a piece of cake by cheating on him/her or you can leave him/her.
Unfortunately, the issue is less simple than you might think: even if you want to keep the family together, it is always complicated to forgive a betrayal to forgive a betrayal, but sometimes it is the only possible solution. Even if it is only a facade.
